This week, I've gleaned some unconventional lessons – not the typical ones we associate with learning. Growing up, lessons often involved making a mistake, having an authority figure correct it, feeling shame, and learning to keep quiet. As a child, authority figures came in various forms – peers with higher social standing, teachers, parents, coaches – creating a challenging environment that sought to diminish creativity and imagination. Each correction felt like a blow, causing me to shrink a little more each time.
Now, as an adult who has invested significant effort in healing the rejection sensitivity stemming from those early experiences, I no longer back down when faced with bullies or those who assert themselves as authorities, experts, or the like. In challenging their authority intelligently, I witness firsthand the fragility underlying their perceived dominance.
The more I challenge, the more adept I become at staying on track and not succumbing to their myriad logical fallacies and psychological projections. It's crucial to note that my intention isn't to corner them, as that tactic is one of their weapons. I'm not engaged in a battle to consume their spirit or diminish their worth it is to show them that they cannot do that to me.
It's amusing how a simple reality check puts them on the defensive. Some might argue that I'm not nice, and they're probably accurate in that description. However, my purpose isn't to be nice. I strive to be kind, but I won't stoop to their level. I maintain my dignity while recognizing our shared humanity, even though, at times, it may not result in a pleasant exchange. Niceness, in my view, is for those who avoid rocking the boat, who are content with the status quo, who remain within the stifling confines of societal boxes. So yes, I'm not aiming to be nice.
I've consciously chosen not to align with the label of being a "nice" person, and frankly, I have no desire to be one. The path of niceness has only led me to heartache, exploitation, bullying, and manipulation. Instead, I embrace kindness, intelligence, compassion, and care as the pillars of my character. Crucially, I acknowledge these qualities within myself first and foremost. It's this self-awareness that fortifies me against bullies seeking to knock me down, enables me to stand up to false authority, and empowers me to hold my ground alongside closed-minded intellectuals who mistakenly believe they know it all.