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Conflict Part Deux - Pink Bows



I recently joined a "sacred women's group" and I truly thought I had found an intersectional, inclusive, collective of women where I "fit in". Too good to be true. The other day I disagreed with on of the leaders of the group and I expressed this with truth, dignity, and integrity. This groups systems are designed as a hierarchy with bureaucratic rules in place to protect the superiors when a radical move is made by someone in the group. In this case I was radically honest and I was silently terminated from the group.

The “superiors” sent me an email stating that I offended another superior by potential exposing a difference in opinion. The rules state that conflict is not acceptable in the group, we cannot have disagreements. If you disagree you must keep it to yourself or receive advisement from a superior and not expose the rest of the group to conflict, what are we like 5. Oh and conflict requires two to tango, I was not aware there was a conflict.

So to be clear, I desired to be part of this group as I thought they had a similar worldview as I, and I thought that it was a safe place to be authentic. I did not harass, demean, call names, curse, undermine, or do anything disrespectful in nature. I simply had a different point of view. That different point of view could not be tolerated, I was different and I was terminated from the group because of this. This is oppressive and abusive behavior, this is how systemic trauma occurs.

I am not traumatized by this experience, I am an adult who has done the inner work and recognize that everything that happened is a reflection of their outdated patriarchal systems and not of me. I have all the tools necessary to move on without permanent damage. I have gratitude for the experience as I have gained a better understanding of my fellow women, their desires for power and the intolerance of difference, things haven’t changed much since the 10th grade. These women just replaced their pompoms and prom tiaras with sage and chakras.

What I learned is that most women aren’t ready to be radically courageous, most women hide within the same systems that have oppressed them. All they do is wrap a little bow of love around it and think that they are changing the world. Pink bows don’t change the world ladies, it's just the same old world with a pink bow on it.



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